Through the Grapevine

A few years ago, I had sex with one of the more toxic men in my life. It had been something I wanted to do for a while, and once it finally happened, it was trash.

A month later, I heard through the grapevine that a girl he dealt with had herpes. I immediately panicked at the assumption that they’d probably had sex before I slept with him. I spent the entire day in a frenzy and the next week immediately went to get tested. 

The search to find a testing center that would test me for herpes was tough. The herpes center of the city I lived in wouldn’t test me unless I were showing symptoms. Urgent Cares charged crazy money for herpes tests, even with insurance. The standard testing centers also refused to test me without showing signs or a breakout. 

So, I finally thought to call Planned Parenthood. I explained the same story I told the others; I heard that a past partner might have herpes, and I wanted to see if I had contracted it. They immediately set up an appointment. 

Planned Parenthood was indeed the best. Thanks to my insurance, I didn’t have a copay. I went to see the MA, and she was super kind and sweet. She understood my concern but assured me that since it had been weeks since the sexual experience and I didn’t have symptoms, I was probably negative. 

She also let me know that they test for several strands that could both be gentile, so if it came out positive, they wouldn’t know if it was something I contracted through sex or something I’ve always had - like a cold sore (which I’ve never had). Of course, this freaked me out because I wouldn’t know, unless I had a breakout, if I was passing along herpes through sex or if I just had a strain since a child. 

I was tested for every STD under the sun that day. A few days later, I received my results, and they were negative. I didn’t have to worry about trying to differentiate the strains, but it made me aware of the little we know about different herpes strains. I also learned how difficult it is to be tested for herpes. 

If you’re ever in a situation like this, please try Planned Parenthood for testing. If you’re not near Planned Parenthood, then just tell the testing site you’re experiencing mild symptom-like irritation and would like check your status.

Age: 24